Rude, Mean and
Bullying
This ancient bridge connects two opposite sides or banks. Similarly, education connects the known with the unknown and equips learners with tools to build better relationships in their future.
At the middle school, we do so many different things
surrounding the support of a child's growth and development. We work on social situations, mental
processes, academic advancements and self-awareness. We talk about manners and making others feel
comfortable. In short, we try and make
citizens of these people, all while
trying to get students ready for the regular high stakes testing. Another blog
initiated a conversation over these following terms.
Define Rude.
Discourteous or impolite
Their actions may be rude, when students do not realize
the pain they cause another person.
Define Mean. Offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating;
nasty; malicious:
When mean, the student knows and is intentionally trying
to make another suffer or feel bad about.
Define Bullying. A blustering, quarrelsome or overbearing and
habitually badgers and intimidating smaller or weaker people.
The bully repeatedly displays mean and or rude behavior
to a specific student or students. There
is no sign of the behavior ending and the victim often feels powerless to control or manage the attacks or the feelings of helplessness that follow.
Victims
Those of us on the receiving end seldom consider
the title of the behavior. We just know
how we feel during the event how we hurt afterwards as we consider what we might do to
work through the pain. We may even
consider retaliation, revenge or making someone else hurt perpetuating the
viscous cycle.
Culture
Middle schools invest time, energy and substantial
resources on breaking this cycle and helping students with empathy. It is a continuous, mufti-faceted approach
battling on the home-front, cultural issues, in the cafeteria and buses as
well as the occasional classroom remark.
Mirrors
On the other hand, students acting out towards others,
often times their friends, think they are just being funny, or they were just
messing around. These seemingly harmless remarks often go unchecked and unaddressed but are the most detrimental. For instance, if an enemy would make an attack, a victim might excuse or ignore the infraction. On the other hand, friend saying something may actually get our attention and provide doubt confusion or even insecurity. This same friend may themselves struggle with confidence and esteem issues and overcompensate perceived shortcomings trying to mask or hide behind bravado! Here is where empathy, understanding, training and finally consequences are in order!
How are we mean?
What do we do that is rude?
When do we bully others?
